And don’t forget to check out these and .
1. “Lovely party. Pity I wasn’t invited.” – Ace Ventura
2. “Be careful with that phone, lieutenant. In time, you could develop a tumor.” – Ace Ventura
3. “If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” – Ace Ventura
4. “I came to confess. I was the second gunman on the Grassy Knoll.” – Ace Ventura
5. “That’s none of your damn business and I’ll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs.” – Ace Ventura
6. “Tom Ace. A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Camp, and congratulations on all your success. You smell terrific.” – Ace Ventura
7. “Okay, I threw it in a cave! What do you want from me? What are you, Mr. Perfect?” – Ace Ventura
8. “Yes, Satan? Sorry sir, you sounded like someone else.” – Ace Ventura
9. “Excuse me, I’d like to ass you a few questions.” – Ace Ventura
10. “That was a close one, ladies and gentlemen, of course in every contest, there must be a loser. Lew-who, za-her.” – Ace Ventura
11. “Of course—how selfish of me. Let’s do all the things you want to do.” – Ace Ventura
12. “Einhorn is Finkle. Finkle is Einhorn! Einhorn is a man! Oh my God! Einhorn is a man!” – Ace Ventura
13. “Well, I’m not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I’ll give you a call sometime. Your number is still 911? Alrighty then.” – Ace Ventura
14. “Hi, I’m looking for Ray Finkle—and a clean pair of shorts.” – Ace Ventura
15. “Is it number one or number two? I just want to know how much time I have.” – Ace Ventura
16. “I have exorcised the demons—this house is clear.” – Ace Ventura
17. “I’m sorry. Could you please speak into my good ear? I thought I heard you call me Ace.” – Ace Ventura
18. “Well, a reward would be nice. I sustained some damage to my vehicle. Had to fill it with premium.” – Ace Ventura
19. “Warning. Assholes are closer than they appear.” – Ace Ventura
20. “Once you get inside my head, there’s no turning back baby.” – Ace Ventura
21. “Well, everything here seems good! Big load off my mind, aw God. You can speculate all you want, but unless you check it out for yourself, you never know. We should head back now.” – Ace Ventura
22. “I’m ready to go in, coach, just give me a chance. I know there’s a lot of riding on it, but it’s all psychological. Just gotta stay in a positive frame of mind.” – Ace Ventura
23. “Fiction can be fun, but I find the reference section a little more enlightening.” – Ace Ventura
24. “You don’t have to tell me. I was there.” – Ace Ventura
25. “Mr. Shickadance, I told you—you’re my first priority. I’m in a very big case right now.” – Ace Ventura
26. “Hmm-mmm. I don’t smoke. It’s a disgusting habit.” – Ace Ventura
27. “That’s a true Albino pigeon. Some rich guy lost it. He’s offering a $25,000 reward. As soon as I find this bird, you’re paid.” – Ace Ventura
28. “She’s not Lois Einhorn! She’s Ray Finkle, she’s a man.” – Ace Ventura
29. “I just can’t do it, captain, I don’t have the power!” – Ace Ventura
30. “Good night, everybody. You’ve been a wonderful audience, I’ll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress.” – Ace Ventura
31. “It’s alive. It’s alive!” – Ace Ventura
32. “Like-a-glove.” – Ace Ventura
33. “Quick decision.” – Ace Ventura
34. “Alllllllrighty then!” – Ace Ventura
35. “Oh yeah? And you’re ugly.” – Ace Ventura
36. “Guano. Sounds so familiar.” – Ace Ventura
37. “Holy testicle Tuesday.” – Ace Ventura
38. “Gee, let me think. Um, sure!” – Ace Ventura
39. “Come to me, jungle friends.” – Ace Ventura
40. “All right! Take care now! Bye-bye, then!” – Ace Ventura
41. “Well, I have kissed a man.” – Ace Ventura
42. “Go ahead. Snoop around!” – Ace Ventura
43. “So, animals can sense evil!” – Ace Ventura
44. “Well? Are you satisfied?” – Ace Ventura
45. “Poor guy with a motive, baby.” – Ace Ventura
46. “For God’s sake, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a pool man!” – Ace Ventura
47. “I gotta go guys! I gotta date with your mothers!” – Ace Ventura
48. “What? Like this? Good evening, Captain Stubing. How are gopher and doc this evening? Aaallrighty, then.” – Ace Ventura
49. “Your gun is digging into my hip.” – Ace Ventura
50. “Well, why don’t you cry about it. Saddlebags.” – Ace Ventura
51. “Uncle Fester is looking for you.” – Ace Ventura
52. “Martha Metz? Oh, yeah, the bitch.” – Ace Ventura
53. “Why do you care about Snowflake? Do you know him? Does he call you at home?” – Ace Ventura
54. “Do you have a dorsal fin? To train ze dolphin you must zink like ze dolphin! You must be getting inside ze dolphin’s head. I am saying to Snowflake, ‘Akay! Akay, akay, akay?’ And he is saying, ‘Akay akay!’ And he is up on ze tail, ‘Eeeeeeeeee!’ And you can quote him!” – Ace Ventura
55. “I want to fight—go to hell!” – Ace Ventura
56. “Good question, Aguado. First, I’d establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug’s dick, and became insanely jealous.” – Ace Ventura
57. Ronald Camp: “I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Ace. I’ll have the plumbing checked immediately.”
Ace Ventura: “Well I hope so, had I been drinking out of the toilet, I might have been killed.”
58. “Cadby: “Something wrong, Mr. Ventura?”
Ace Ventura: “Of course not. This is a lovely room of death. Take care now, bye-bye then.”
59. “We’re talking mental institute escapee. I saw the guy’s room. Cozy if you’re Hannibal Lecter!” – Ace Ventura
60. “But if I am mistaken—if the Lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be—then, my friend, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen!” – Ace Ventura
61. “Say hello to my stinky little friend!” – Ace Ventura
62. “Thought I left, didn’t ya?” – Ace Ventura
63. Mr. Finkle: “Are you another one of those ‘hard copy’ guys?”
Ace Ventura: “No sir, I’m just a very big Finkle fan, This is my graceland.”
64. “I never bring my work home with me, sir.” – Ace Ventura
65. “Ah! Nobody wants to play with me!” – Ace Ventura
66. “I’m in Psychoville and Finkle’s the mayor.” – Ace Ventura
67. “Excuse me sir, but do you have a mint? Perhaps some Binaca?” – Ace Ventura
68. “Excuse me, gentleman. Pet Detective. Come on, what’s the matter with you? Can’t you hit me?” – Ace Ventura
69. “I’ll have you know that I have the reflexes of a cat and the speed of a mongoose. Throw it. I dare you!” – Ace Ventura
70. “Repent! And thou shall be saved.” – Ace Ventura
71. “I’m gonna execute a button-hook pattern, super slo-mo.” – Ace Ventura
72. “Tonight on Miami Vice, Crockett gets the boss some coffee.” – Ace Ventura
73. “Thanks! Stuff probably looks better on the way out, huh?” – Ace Ventura
74. “Heads up! Good defense! Good defense!” – Ace Ventura
75. “Spank you, helpy helperton.” – Ace Ventura
76. Ace Ventura: “Idiot!”
Swoop: “What?”
Ace Ventura: “You realize what’ve you just done? You just cost me twenty-five grand, Polly.”
77. “Receipts, what about receipts? There’s gotta be receipts.” – Ace Ventura
78. “Ace Ventura, pet detective. I’ve been sent in with a special play. Quarterback sneak.” – Ace Ventura
79. “And you must be the monopoly guy! Hey, thanks for the free parking!” – Ace Ventura
80. “Whew—now I feel better. ‘Course, that might not do any good; you see nobody’s missing a porpoise. It’s a dolphin that’s been taken.” – Ace Ventura
81. “Pride is an abomination. One must forego the self to obtain total spiritual creaminess and avoid the chewy chunks of degradation.” – Ace Ventura
82. “Gee, Chuck, the date started out good. Just before we got to the party she seemed to tense up.” – Ace Ventura
83. “Hmmm, unconscious. Exactly as I planned.” – Ace Ventura
84. “So far no signs of aquatic life, but I’m going to find it. If I have to tear this universe another black hole, I’m going to find it. I’ve got to, mister.” – Ace Ventura
85. Ace Ventura: “Don’t kill me! Please! I’ll never tell anyone, I swear—he’s the one you want! Kill him!”
Dan Marino: “No, kill him! He’s the detective!”
Ace Ventura: “No, kill him! He held the ball wrong, remember! Come on, look at the guy!”
86. “You know, you are just mad because your stupid little pebble theory didn’t work out and you don’t know how to express your anger.” – Melissa Robinson
87. “No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle.” – Ace Ventura
88. “I have to have money to buy food. I have to have a dolphin to get the money. I don’t see a dolphin around here, do you?” – Ace Ventura
89. “Most likely, sir. I’ll bet it was something nice, though.” – Ace Ventura
90. “That’s why Roger Podacter is dead! He found Captain Winkie!” – Ace Ventura
91. Fulton: “My name is Fulton Greenwall, and I’m looking for an Ace Ventura.”
Lama: “No man here carries with him a label.”
Fulton: “What? Oh, no names. How silly of me. Well, um, he’s an American.”
Lama: “We are all children of the same life force.”
92. “This is double-paned soundproof glass. There is no way that neighbor could’ve heard Roger Podacter scream on the way down with that door shut. The scream she heard came from inside the apartment before he was thrown over the balcony and the murderer closed the door before he left.” – Ace Ventura
93. Ace Ventura: “Wow, Ray Finkle’s house, I can’t wait to meet him.”
Mr. Finkle: “Ray ain’t coming home.”
Ace Ventura: “But your wife said you expect him home any minute.”
Mr. Finkle: “She expects him home any minute. See, the engine’s running but there’s nobody behind the wheel.”
94. Ace Ventura: “Alrighty then. I have a package for you.”
Neighbor: “Sounds broken.”
95. “Never mind the wisecracks, Ventura—you owe me rent.” – Mr. Shickadance
96. “I’m really going out on a limb here, Ventura. Camp’s social events are strictly A-list.” – Melissa Robinson
97. “Captain’s log, stardate 23.9, rounded off to the nearest decimal point. We’ve traveled back in time to save an ancient species from total annihilation.” – Ace Ventura
98. “How would you like me to make your life a living hell?” – Lois Einhorn
99. Ace Ventura: “Not to worry, Ouda is probably going for help right now.”
Ouda: “Hello, Ace! They found me! No sweat!”
Ace Ventura: “Don’t beat yourself up.”