1. “Actually, it’s more like we’re looking for a needle in a pile of needles. A needle would stand out in a haystack.” – Spencer Reid

2. “I don’t believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and can read 20,000 words per minute. Yes, I’m a genius.” – Spencer Reid

3. “You should see what comes up when you type ‘death’ into a search engine.” – Spencer Reid

4. “That makes no sense. You can’t catch a falling star. It would burn up in the atmosphere.” – Spencer Reid

5. “Look at me, without a gun on my belt. I look like a teacher’s assistant!” – Spencer Reid

6. “Actually, there aren’t that many scientific errors in Star Trek, especially considering how long ago it was made. There are certain improbabilities, but not that many outright errors.” – Spencer Reid

7. “I never have any normal fans.” – Spencer Reid

8. “What’s Twilight?” – Spencer Reid

9. “To get away with murder, you simply don’t tell anyone.” – Spencer Reid

10. “Lila, believe me when I say this, I’ve never known a normal day in my entire life.” – Spencer Reid 

11. “Nothing violates one’s sense of security more than being attacked in their own home.” – Spencer Reid

12. “I got shot in the leg, and I don’t get any cookies?” – Spencer Reid

13. “The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It’s actually safer to kiss.” – Spencer Reid

14. “Contrary to popular belief, decapitation is not that easy.” – Spencer Reid

15. “Depression is a vicious cycle. It frequently manifests itself in the degradation of one’s personal living environment, which in turn fuels the depression, which then worsens the living environment.” – Spencer Reid

16. “Actually, dragging is steeped in English history. Back in the 11th century, drawing and quartering was a common form of punishment, and in fact, they would also disembowel and behead the victims when they were done with them.” – Spencer Reid

17. “You know, oftentimes, when a stalker’s advances are completely ignored, their erotomanic fantasies will be diverted to a more receptive target.” – Spencer Reid

18. “Excuse me, could I get a fork, perhaps? Did you know that experts credit Confucius with the advent of the chopstick? He equated knives with acts of aggression.” – Spencer Reid

19. “The interchange between the 405 and the 101 freeways is consistently rated the worst interchange in the entire world.” – Spencer Reid

20. “The Greeks translated ‘puppets’ as ‘neurospasta,’ which literally means string-pulling, and throughout time, they’ve been used as a method to tell kings a story, so the subjects didn’t have to speak directly to him.” – Spencer Reid

21. “You know, he might have Capgras syndrome. It’s a delusional disorder in which one believes that their friends and loved ones have been replaced by imposters.” – Spencer Reid

22. “Evil can’t be scientifically defined. It’s an illusory moral concept that doesn’t exist in nature. Its origins and connotations have been inextricably linked to religion and mythology.” – Spencer Reid

23. “Hotch, repetitive thinking is a death mill for the brain. For complete brain usage, diverse stimulation is the key.” – Spencer Reid

24. “Lobotomies are considered to be the surgery of the soul. Doctors like Walter Freeman claimed they could cure a number of mental illnesses. He believed the procedure could relieve suffering.” – Spencer Reid

25. “Well, the brain is a machine designed to respond to stimuli. You keep the brain awake but the body immobile. It breaks down, loses its hair. After two months, it eventually strokes out.” – Spencer Reid

26. “Although the observable universe is continually expanding. There’s really no way of knowing the whole thing is gonna ultimately collapse into one gargantuan black hole.” – Spencer Reid

27. “Actually, some studies indicate that men take twice as many selfies as women ’cause it’s considered to be an acceptable form of male vanity.” – Spencer Reid

28. “Medieval medical practitioners believed that chickens could absorb illness. They would rub the birds all over the bodies of the diseased in an attempt to rid them of their sickness.” – Spencer Reid

29. “The praying mantis can kill and eat a multitude of creatures, but the most interesting fact is that oftentimes, the female mantis engages in sexual cannibalism, meaning she’ll bite off the head of her mate once copulation is complete, sometimes, even during intercourse, actually.” – Spencer Reid

30. “Moral vigilantism typically has its roots in repression and guilt. This generally manifests itself in low self-esteem and self-loathing. By punishing others, the unsub may also be punishing himself.” – Spencer Reid

31. “This is calm, and it’s ‘Dr.'” – Spencer Reid

32. “Statistically, 94% of all serial arsonists are male, 75% are white, and few, if any, are ever caught. Those 16% set 30 plus fires before they’re ever apprehended. I’m trying to be more conversational.” – Spencer Reid

33. “I just keep getting PhDs.” – Spencer Reid 

34. Spencer Reid: “All right, try looking for thefts involving body parts, specifically left legs.”

Penelope Garcia: “Okay. See, this is why I can’t talk about how my day was at dinner, breakfast, lunch.” 

35. “Sometimes for an artist, the only difference between insanity and genius is success.” – Spencer Reid (Bruce Feirstein)

36. “Logic dictates that if you believe in one, you have to reconcile the existence of the other.” – Spencer Reid

37. “I know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind.” – Spencer Reid

38. “Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards.” – Spencer Reid (Soren Kierkegaard)

39. “So, you work for the government, but you don’t read the reports.” – Spencer Reid

40. “You know, 14 is when we start to make our own musical choices. Our cognitive development evolves at that age, and we start to form our own cultural identity.” – Spencer Reid

41. “Bullying leaves lasting scars.” – Spencer Reid

42. “You’d be surprised how many killers do what they do because of their parents.” – Spencer Reid

43. “The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living.” – Spencer Reid (Cicero)

44. “I don’t know everything. I mean, despite the fact that you think that I do.” – Spencer Reid

45. “I guess now I know what a parent feels like when their kid grows up. Someone who’s depended on you for so long, and then suddenly they’re off living their own life, and they don’t really need you anymore.” – Spencer Reid

46. “Referring to oneself in the third person is not uncommon for an unsub. Ted Bundy gave thoroughly detailed accounts of his murders, but he never actually admitted doing any of them. He’d just say, ‘the killer.'” – Spencer Reid

47. “The cool thing about Halloween is that it’s a uniquely American holiday. I mean, despite its obvious origins in the Celtic festival of Samhain and the Christian All Saints’ Day, it really is a melting pot of various immigrants’ traditions and beliefs. It became a little more commercialized in the 1950s with trick-or-treat, and today, it rivals only Christmas in terms of popularity.” – Spencer Reid

48. “The Afro-Caribbean syncretic religions began when slaves mixed their traditional religions with Catholicism in order to camouflage them. The elements in this altar look to me like Santeria. It’s a Yoruban-based religion developed in Cuba. Practitioners worship Orishas, deities that roughly correspond with Catholic saints.” – Spencer Reid

49. “Arsonists are often mission-based. They need to make sure their first fire has burnt out before they set another one. They’re also highly disciplined and focused. If conditions aren’t right to set a fire or, in this case, slash a throat, they’ll move on.” – Spencer Reid

50. “Erotomania has very little to do with sex. It’s a romantic or spiritual connection that erotomaniacs crave. Victims of the delusion tend to be from a higher social status and have done very little to stimulate or encourage such a belief.” – Spencer Reid

51. “She obviously did nothing to protect Amber from the abuse. She feels betrayed by her mother and now receives extreme sadistic pleasure in watching the same thing that happened to her. Strange, in this case, the abused actually became the abuser.” – Spencer Reid

52. “There’s something known as the magical age, between 9 and 12, when a child’s psyche is more malleable.” – Spencer Reid

53. “The Mountain Man seems to be a confluence of several local legends. Some say he’s part of the backwoods Appalachian population. Others say he’s a confederate holdout trying to start a second civil war to turn brother against brother. But, the one thing they all could agree upon is that when you go into a darkened bathroom, and you chant ‘I hate The Mountain Man’ three times, he’ll pop up behind you and kill you the next time you hear Lynyrd Skynyrd on the radio!” – Spencer Reid

54. “Documented examples include high-functioning autistics who collect child porn to pretend to plan a school shooting. They know that there’s power in those images and those actions, but for them, there’s no paraphilia behind it. They don’t derive pleasure from it. What I don’t see is someone who’s interested in explosives. We need to rule out—.” – Spencer Reid

55. “The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.” – Spencer Reid (Joseph Conrad)

56. “I’m gonna walk you through a scenario, and your face is gonna tell me how close I am. From the moment I arrested you, you watched and waited for the right time to take . When you learned I was going to Mexico, you took it. You and Lindsey framed me for murder so I’d be put in prison and treated like a criminal, and then you kidnapped my mother, so I would know how it feels to have a parent manipulated because you want to prove that you and I are the same. Am I right?” – Spencer Reid

57. “Fables have morals that didn’t have a moral.” – Spencer Reid

58. “Actually, candles were originally used to protect the birthday celebrant from demons for the coming year. As a matter of fact, down to the fourth century, Christianity rejected the birthday celebration as a pagan ritual.” – Spencer Reid

59. “The business of incarceration is extremely lucrative and virtually recession-proof.” – Spencer Reid

60. “Do you wanna know why horror movies are so successful? They prey on our instinctual need to survive. In tribal days, a woman’s scream would signal danger, and the men would return from hunting to protect their pack. That’s why it’s always the women and not the men who fall victim to the bogeyman.” – Spencer Reid

61. “You know Garcia—she carries a laptop, not a gun. She can’t even look at crime scene photos without needing pictures of panda bears to counterbalance them.” – Spencer Reid

62. “Braden certainly would be vulnerable. Unlike classic autism, language ability is intact in people with Asperger’s. They appear to lack empathy and have trouble reading social cues. Albert Einstein supposedly had it, as do some well-known Silicon Valley types.” – Spencer Reid

63. “I totally saved your life, and I’m pretty certain it was caught on tape.” – Spencer Reid

64. “One thing I’ve learned over the years profiling CIA agents, spies are some of the smartest liars in the world. Be smarter.” – Spencer Reid

65. “I’m about to get naked so they can scrub me down. Is that something you really wanna see?” – Spencer Reid

66. “The clock talked loud. I threw it away. It scared me when it talked.” – Spencer Reid

67. “Do you mind if we swing by a bookstore? I want to re-read ‘Empty Planet’ before we meet with the author. I haven’t read it since I was six.” – Spencer Reid

68. “Members of the Manson family left watermelon rinds at the scene of the crime, and also painted panther paws on the wall in blood in the hopes of convincing authorities that the Black Panther Party was responsible.” – Spencer Reid

69. “Hotch, I was a 12-year-old prodigy in a Las Vegas public high school. You kick like a nine-year-old girl.” – Spencer Reid

70. “When it comes to life, we spin our own yarn, and where we end up is really, in fact, where we always intended to be.” – Spencer Reid

71. “The most important question anyone can ask is—what myth am I living?” – Spencer Reid (Carl Jung)

72. “The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation.” – Spencer Reid (James E. Faust)

73. “Without a family, man—alone in the world—trembles with the cold.” – Spencer Reid (Andre Maurois)

74. “We live in a fantasy world—a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality.” – Spencer Reid (Iris Murdoch)

75. “In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate.” – Spencer Reid ()

76. “Yes, there are monsters, and it’s okay to be afraid of them, but it’s not okay to let them win, and it’s not okay to be one.” – Spencer Reid

77. “No matter how fast light travels, darkness is always faster and is waiting for it.” – Spencer Reid (Terry Pratchett)

78. “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Spencer Reid (Abraham Lincoln)

79. “It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone.” – Spencer Reid (Rose Kennedy)

80. “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched.” – Spencer Reid (Hellen Keller)

81. Derek Morgan: “What makes you feel confident?”

Spencer Reid: “Statistics.”

82. Spencer Reid: “So Seattle’s ‘where it all began.'”

Derek Morgan: “We just need to figure out what ‘it’ is, and, off the top of my head, I can think of grunge music and overpriced coffee.”

83. Jason Gideon: “There’s someone else on the plane that’s a huge Skins fan.”

Spencer Reid: “Who?”

Jason Gideon: “The only person in the world who calls you ‘Spence.'”

Spencer Reid: “Checkmate.”

84. Spencer Reid: “No one gets therapy these days without a healthy dose of medication.”

Penelope Garcia: “What are you implying, Reid?”

Spencer Reid: “That everyone is medicated.”

85. “He doesn’t give a damn about black or white. The only color that son of a bitch cares about is green.” – Spencer Reid

86. “Typically, voyeurs are nonviolent and content to remain bystanders.” – Spencer Reid

87. “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.” – Spencer Reid (Oscar Wilde)

88. “To the living, we owe respect. But to the dead, we owe only the truth.” – Spencer Reid ()

89. “To follow by faith alone is to follow blindly.” – Spencer Reid (Benjamin Franklin)

90. “In all the darkest pages of the malign supernatural, there is no more terrible tradition than that of the vampire—a pariah even among demons.” – Spencer Reid (Montague Summers)

91. “You may leave school, but it never leaves you.” – Spencer Reid (Andy Partridge)

92. “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars.” – Spencer Reid (Khalil Gibran)

93. “Who in his mind has not probed the dark water?” – Spencer Reid (John Steinbeck)

94. “I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.” – Spencer Reid ()

95. “What was silent in the father speaks in the son, and often I found in the son the unveiled secret of the father.” – Spencer Reid (Friedrich Nietzsche)

96. “He looks about the way I would if I was gonna spend two weeks with my family.” – Elle Greenaway

97. “I never said that. When have I ever said that?” – Derek Morgan

98. Derek Morgan: “So what kind of report do they want on him?”

Aaron Hotchner: “I suppose, whether he’s fit to be a field agent. You know, Haley and I were looking at a baby names book. Well, guess what Gideon means in Hebrew.”

Spencer Reid: “Mighty warrior. Appropriate.”

99. “Every day since I met you!” – Spencer Reid

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