2. “You wanna know what money sounds like? Go to a trading floor on Wall Street.” – Jordan Belfort
3. “You know, just—people say sh*t. I don’t even know. I don’t even listen to it half the time.” – Jordan Belfort
4. “Still, give them to me young, hungry, and stupid. And in no time, I will make them rich.” – Jordan Belfort
5. “The only thing standing between you and your goal is the b*llsh*t story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” – Jordan Belfort
6. “Let me tell you something. There’s no nobility in poverty. I’ve been a rich man and I’ve been a poor man. And I choose rich every f*ck*ng time.” – Jordan Belfort
7. “This right here is the land of opportunity. This is America. This is my home! The show goes on! They’re gonna need to send in the National Guard to take me out, ‘cause I ain’t going nowhere!” – Jordan Belfort
8. “I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich!” – Jordan Belfort
9. “I’ve got the guts to die. What I want to know is, have you got the guts to live?” – Jordan Belfort
10. “When you live your life by poor standards, you inflict damage on everyone who crosses your path, especially those you love.” – Jordan Belfort
11. “Let me give you a little legal advice: shut the f*ck up!” – Patrick Denham
12. “You can watch me, mock me, try to block me but you cannot stop me.” – Jordan Belfort
13. “Hard work beats talent. Every time!” – Jordan Belfort
14. “Risk is what keeps us young.” – Aunt Emma
15. “Fall in love with the person who enjoys your madness, not an idiot who forces you to be normal.” – Jordan Belfort
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16. “The name of the game, moving the money from the client’s pocket to your pocket.” – Mark Hanna
17. “Always keep the client on the Ferris wheel.” – Mark Hanna
18. “I don’t think you’re cut out for this job. You look like a kid, and Wall Street’s no place for kids. It’s a place for killers. A place for mercenaries. So, in that sense you’re lucky I’m not the one who does the hiring around here.” – Jordan Belfort
19. “Nobody knows if a stock’s going up, down or f*ck*ng sideways, least of all stockbrokers. But we have to pretend we know.” – Mark Hanna
20. “Ninety-seven percent of the people who quit too soon are employed by the three percent who didn’t.” – Jordan Belfort
21. “I will not die sober!” – Jordan Belfort
22. “There were certain things that you just didn’t joke about; it was simply bad luck. It was like pissing in the fate god’s eye. If you did it long enough, he was certain to piss right back at you. And his urine stream was like a f*ck*ng fire hose.” – Jordan Belfort
23. “Yeah, like Buddhists. They don’t give a sh*t about money. They’re wrapped in sheets. They’re not buying sh*t.” – Alden Kupferberg
24. “Every person around here, they want to get rich and they want to get rich quickly. They all want something for nothing.” – Jordan Belfort
25. “I’ll tell you what, I’m never eating at Benihana again. I don’t care whose birthday it is.” – Donnie Azoff
26. “If anyone here thinks I’m superficial or materialistic, go get a job at f*ck*ng Mcdonald’s, ‘cause that’s where you f*ck*ng belong!” – Jordan Belfort
27. “You be ferocious, you be relentless, you be telephone f*ck*ng terrorists.” – Jordan Belfort
28. “I can’t imagine ever not enjoying getting f*ck*d up. How’s being sober?” – Donnie Azoff
29. “Rule number one: f*ck what they think.” – Jordan Belfort
30. “My , who won’t take a no for an answer, who won’t hang up the phone till their client either buys—or f*ck*ng dies.” – Jordan Belfort
31. “It was obscene in the real world. But, who the f*ck wanted to live there?” – Jordan Belfort
32. “For your information boys, Danielle has promised to use this $10,000 for breast implants. She’s already got C-cups, but now she wants f*ck*n’ double d’s!” – Jordan Belfort
33. “On new issue day?! On c*ck sucking mother f*ck*ng new issue day?! This is what you do.” – Donnie Azoff
34. “I couldn’t believe how these guys talked to each other! I was hooked in seconds. It was like mainlining adrenaline.” – Jordan Belfort
35. “So, if you’ve got a client who bought stock at 8 and now it’s at 16 and he’s all f*ck*ng happy, he wants to cash in and liquidate, take his f*ck*ng money and run home, you don’t let him do that—’cause that would make it real.” – Mark Hanna
36. “Sell me this pen.” – Jordan Belfort
37. “The real question is this: was all this legal? Absolutely f*ck*ng not. But we were making more money than we knew what to do with.” – Jordan Belfort
38. “Most of the Wall Street j*ck*ss*s I bust are douchebags, just like their fathers before them and their fathers before them. But you—you, Jordan, got this way all on your own.” – Patrick Denham
39. “If I earn a million dollars a week and the average American earns a thousand dollars a week, then when I spend $20,000 on something it’s the equivalent of the average American spending $20,000 on something, right?” – Jordan Belfort
40. “Just like that I made two grand, the other guys looked at me like I just discovered fire.” – Jordan Belfort
41. “One thing I can promise you is that I never ask my clients to judge me on my winners, I ask them to judge me on my losers because I have so few.” – Jordan Belfort
42. “It was as if I was bulletproof or something. How many times had I cheated death?” – Jordan Belfort
43. “I’m not ashamed to admit it: my first time in prison, I was terrified. For a moment, I had forgotten I lived in a world where everything was for sale.” – Jordan Belfort
44. “After all, it was the nature of 20th-century capitalism that everyone should scam everyone, and he who scammed the most ultimately won the game. On that basis, I was the undefeated world champ.” – Jordan Belfort
45. “My name is Jordan Belfort. The year I turned 26, I made 49 million dollars, which really pissed me off because it was 3 shy of a million a week.” – Jordan Belfort
46. “Money is the oxygen of capitalism and I wanna breathe more than any man alive.” – Jordan Belfort
47. “There are two keys to success in the broker business—first of all you gotta stay relaxed, secondly you gotta always get stay high.” – Mark Hanna
48. “Get us two Absolut martinis. You know how I like ‘em, straight up. In seven-and-a-half minutes, you will bring us two more, then two more every five minutes after that, until one of us passes the f*ck out.” – Mark Hanna
49. “You show me a pay stub for $72,000, I quit my job right now and work for you.” – Donnie Azoff
50. “All right, pump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers in this racket. I myself, I jerk off at least—twice a day.” – Mark Hanna
51. “On a daily basis, I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island, and Queens for a month.” – Jordan Belfort
52. “With this script, I’ll teach each and every one of you to be the best.” – Jordan Belfort
53. “Fugayzi, fugazi. It’s a whazy. It’s a woozie. It’s fairy dust. it doesn’t exist. It’s never landed. It is no matter. It’s not on the elemental chart. It’s not f*ck*ng real.” – Mark Hanna
54. “It’s his first day on Wall Street. Give him time.” – Mark Hanna
55. “Jesus Christ, I think you have a f*ck*n’ drug problem.” – Donnie Azoff
56. “There is no such thing as bad publicity. Your hair looks good.” – Teresa Petrillo
57. “They’re up my *ss. Don’t worry about it, I got it.” – Donnie Azoff
58. “You got my money taped to your t*ts, honey. Technically, you do work for me.” – Donnie Azoff
59. “What kind of hooker takes credit cards?” – Max Belfort
60. “I hate that f*ck*n’ dog.” – Donnie Azoff
61. “The nice thing about being rescued by Italians is that they feed you, make you drink red wine, then you get to dance.” – Jordan Belfort
62. “I felt horrible. Three days later, I filed for a divorce and moved Naomi into the apartment.” – Jordan Belfort
63. “There was this one time I was selling pot to this Amish dude. You know those guys who got like the beard with, like, no mustache or some b*llsh*t? Well, he says that he only wants to make furniture.” – Alden Kupferberg
64. “Oh, no. No, Daddy doesn’t even get to touch Mommy for a very, very, very long time.” – Naomi Lapaglia
65. “Yeah, it’s getting old and decrepit. It’s startin’ to sh*t in the house again.” – Jordan Belfort
66. “If you sell $10,000 worth of this stock, I will personally give you a bl*wj*b for free—and I hope it happens.” – Dwayne
67. “But, you drink enough and—you drink a lot and it’ll get you f*ck*d up?” – Donnie Azoff
68. “At least as a rich man when I have to face my problems I show up at the back of a limo wearing a $2,000 suit and a $40,000 gold f*ck*ng watch.” – Jordan Belfort
69. “And you know what else, Daddy? Mommy is just sick and tired of wearing panties.” – Naomi Lapaglia
70. “I got a couple of mil’ comin’ in like a week. And when it gets in, I’ll give you a call and you come pick it up.” – Donnie Azoff
71. “But if you can make your clients money at the same time it’s advantageous to everyone, correct?” – Jordan Belfort
72. “Hey Paulie, what’s up? No, everything’s fine. Hey listen, I quit!” – Donnie Azoff
73. “I heard some stupid sh*t. I—I didn’t even want to bring it up. It’s just—stupid.” – Jordan Belfort
74. “If I’m not mistaking, you just tried to bribe a federal officer.” – Patrick Denham
75. “Oh, I’m good with water for now.” – Jordan Belfort
76. “Mr. Hanna, you’re able to do drugs during the day and then still function, still do your job?” – Jordan Belfort
77. “Pay close attention to people who don’t clap when you win.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
78. “When you do something, you might fail. But that’s not because you’re a failure. It’s because you have not learned enough. Do it differently each time. One day, you will do it right. Failure is your friend.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
79. “Successful people are 100% convinced that they are masters of their own destiny, they’re not creatures of circumstance, they create circumstance, if the circumstances around them suck they change them.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
80. “When the window of opportunity open, that’s when you work twice as hard.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
81. “I believe in total immersion, if you want to be rich, you have to program your mind to be rich.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
82. “Best way to sell something: don’t sell anything. Earn awareness, respect, and trust of those who might buy.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
83. “Winners use words that say ‘must’ and ‘will.’” – Jordan Belfort, Author
84. “It’s business. Leave your emotions at the door.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
85. “You have to unlearn all the thoughts that were making you poor and replace them with new thoughts—rich thoughts.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
86. “People don’t buy stock; it gets sold to them. Don’t ever forget that.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
87. “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
88. “The easiest way to make money is to create something of such value that everybody wants and go out and give and create value, the money comes automatically.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
89. “If you give people a good enough ‘why’, they will always figure out the ‘how.’” – Jordan Belfort, Author
90. “Act as if! Act as if you’re a wealthy man, rich already, and then you’ll surely become rich. Act as if you have unmatched confidence and then people will surely have confidence in you. Act as if you have unmatched experience and then people will follow your advice. And act as if you are already a tremendous success, and as sure as I stand here today—you will become successful.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
91. “The Wolf strikes again!” – Jordan Belfort, Author
92. “When it’s all said and done, it’s the energy we send out into the universe that often comes back to us. That’s a universal law, love.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
93. “Yeah, that’s right; money is the greatest single problem-solver known to man.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
94. “Perhaps I should have run the other way right then and there, realizing that a guy like this might bring out the worst in me.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
95. “After all, guilt and remorse were worthless emotions, weren’t they? Well, I knew they weren’t; but I had no time for them. Forward motion—that was the key. Run as fast as you can and don’t look back.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
96. “Money is the tool, my child, not the mason; it can help you make acquaintances but not true friends; and it might buy you a life of leisure but not a life of peace.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
97. “Look at them; as much money as they make, every last one of them is broke! They spend every dime they have, trying to keep up with my lifestyle. But they can’t, because they don’t make enough.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
98. “You see, money doesn’t just buy you a better life, better food, better cars, better women, it makes you actually a better person. You can give generously to your church or political party of your choice.” – Jordan Belfort, Author
99. “I want you to back yourself into a corner. Give yourself no choice but to succeed. Let the consequences of failure become so dire and so unthinkable that you’ll have no choice but to do whatever it takes to succeed.” – Jordan Belfort, Author