110 The Emperor’s New Groove Quotes Filled With Lessons

1. “Don’t tell me—we’re about to go over a huge waterfall.” – Kuzco 

2. “Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I’ll turn him into a flea—a harmless little flea, and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside of another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives, I’ll smash it with a hammer! It’s brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say!” – Yzma 

3. “You know, the funny thing about shaking hands is you need hands.” – Kuzco 

4. “Let’s take a look-see. Hate your hair. Not likely. Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. And let me guess, you have a great personality.” – Kuzco

5. “This is Yzma, the Emperor’s advisor. Living proof that dinosaurs once roamed the earth.” – Kuzco 

6. “All right. A quick cup of coffee, then take him out and finish the job!” – Yzma 

7. “Bless you for coming out in public.” – Waitress 

8. “I gotta go wash something.” – Chicha

9. “I got a little secret for you, come here. No, closer. I don’t make deals with peasants!” – Kuzco 

10. “It is no concern of mine whether your family has—what was it again? You really should have thought of that before you became peasants!” – Yzma 

11. “You know, it’s a good thing you’re not a big, fat guy, or this would be really difficult.” – Kuzco 

12. “A llama? He’s supposed to be dead!” – Yzma 

13. “Whoa! Look at those wrinkles. What is holding this woman together?” – Kuzco

14. “For all eternity. Well, he ain’t getting any deader. Back to work.” – Yzma 

15. “Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco’s poison, that poison?” – Kronk

16. “No touchy.” – Kuzco

17. “Big, dumb, and tone-deaf. I am so glad I was unconscious for all of this.” – Kuzco

18. “You know, in my defense, your poisons all look alike. You might think about re-labeling some of them.” – Kronk

19. “Hit the road, Bucky.” – Kuzco

20. “That is the last time we take directions from a squirrel.” – Yzma

21. “And so, it is with great sadness that we mourn the sudden departure of our beloved prince, taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his 18th birthday.” – Yzma

22. “Oh, it’s not the first time I was tossed out of a window, and it won’t be the last. What can I say? I’m a rebel.” – Old Man

23. “Okay, everybody. Move aside. Lady with a baby comin’ through.” – Chicha

24. “Very good, Kronk! Get the snack! Get the snack!” – Kuzco

25. “His groove! The rhythm in which he lives his life, his pattern of behavior. I threw it off, and the Emperor had me thrown out the window.” – Old Man

26. “Or to save on postage, I’ll just poison him with this!” – Yzma

27. “Okay, why does she even have that lever?” – Kuzco

28. “Boom, baby!” – Kuzco

29. “Let me see that vial. This isn’t poison! This is an extract of llama!” – Yzma

30. “Squeaky, squeaks, squeaker, squeaking.” – Kronk

31. “Why would I kidnap a llama?” – Pacha

32. “I have no idea. You’re the criminal mastermind, not me. You’re right. That’s giving you way too much credit.” – Kuzco

33. “Kronk, this is kind of important.” – Yzma

34. Pacha: “Someday, you’re gonna wind up all alone, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.”

Kuzco: “Thanks for that. I’ll log that away.”

35. “I’m not going to drop it, you fool! I’m going to drink! And once I turn back into my beautiful self, I’m going to kill you!” – Yzma

36. “Yay. I’m a llama again! Wait.” – Kuzco

37. “Looking for this? Is that my voice? Is that my voice? Oh well.” – Yzma

38. “He can’t get rid of me that easily! Who does that ungrateful little worm think he is? Does he—a little to the left—have any idea of who he’s dealing with? How could he do this to me? Why, I practically raised him!” – Yzma

39. “Okay, I admit it. Maybe I wasn’t as nice as I should have been. But, Yzma, do you really want to kill me?” – Kuzco

40. “Pull the lever, Kronk. Wrong lever!” – Yzma

41. “Um, what’s with the chimp and the bug? Can we get back to me?” – Kuzco

42. “Wait a minute. I remember you. I remember telling you that I was building my pool where your house was, and then you got mad at me. Oh! And you turned me into a llama!” – Kuzco

43. “Woo-yeah! Look at me and my bad self! I snatched you right out of the air! Ooh, I’m a crumbly canyon wall, and I’m taking you with me. Well, not today, pal!” – Kuzco

44. “Um, how else can I say it? ‘You’re being let go.’ ‘Your department’s being downsized.’ ‘You’re part of an outplacement.’ ‘We’re going in a different direction.’ ‘We’re not picking up your option.’ Take your pick. I got more.” – Kuzco

45. “Break it down? Are you kidding me? This is hand-carved mahogany.” – Kronk

46. “Alright! I’ve had enough! Tell us where the talking llama is, and we’ll burn your house to the ground.” – Yzma

47. “Our moment of triumph approaches! Haha, ha, haha! It’s dinner time!” – Yzma

48. “I am one hungry king of the world.” – Kuzco

49. “I could’ve let you die out there in that jungle, and then all my problems would be over.” – Pacha

50. “Yeah. You said when the sun hits this ridge just right, these hills sing. Well, pal, I was dragged all over those hills, and I did not hear any singing.” – Kuzco

51. “Well, which one? Both seem like a pretty crucial conjunction.” – Chaca

52. “Just think of it as you’re being let go. That your life’s going in a different direction. That your body’s part of a permanent outplacement.” – Yzma

53. “Why did I risk my life for a selfish brat like you? I was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but, oh, you proved me wrong.” – Pacha

54. “Okay, okay, on second thought, make my potatoes a salad.” – Kuzco

55. “What is this guy babbling about? He’s like the thing that wouldn’t shut up.” – Kuzco

56. “Don’t drink the wine—poison.” – Kronk

57. “Make me the special, and hold the gravy!” – Yzma

58. “Yzma! Put your hands in the air!” – Kronk

59. “What is this, some little game you country folk like to play?” – Kuzco

60. “So, we have to get him back to the palace, find the lab, and change him back.” – Pacha

61. “No! It can’t be. How did you get here before us?” – Kuzco

62. “I know. It’s called a ‘cruel irony,’ like my dependence on you.” – Yzma

63. “You got me. By all accounts, it doesn’t make sense.” – Kronk

64. “What do you want? Oh, for me? I don’t know what to say.” – Kuzco

65. “If you had done what I ordered you to do in the first place, we all could have been spared your little ‘kiss of life.'” – Kuzco

66. “Oh, yeah. Anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude.” – Kuzco

67. “Wait, was this woman scary beyond all reason? That’s Yzma and Kronk! I’m saved!” – Kuzco

68. “Welcome to Kuzcotopia, my ultimate summer getaway, complete with water slide.” – Kuzco

69. “Well, whatever you call it, it was disgusting.” – Kuzco

70. “Hey, everyone hits their stride. You just hit yours 50 years ago.” – Kuzco

71. “Maybe I’m just new to this whole rescuing thing, but this, to me, might be considered kind of a step backward, wouldn’t you say?” – Kuzco

72. “Huh? What? I didn’t do anything. I didn’t. Somebody’s throwin’ stuff. You gonna build a fire or what?” – Kuzco

73. “Good, because believe it or not, I think I need a bath.” – Kuzco

74. “Well, that makes you ugly and stupid.” – Kuzco

75. “Oh, a leaf! Oh, it might attack me. Oh, it’s a scary tree! I’m afraid. Please. Never find my way? I’m the Emperor, and as such, I’m born with an innate sense of direction. Okay, where am I?” – Kuzco

76. “Yeah! And that’s for kidnapping me and taking me back to your village! Which I’m still gonna destroy, by the way.” – Kuzco

77. “Okay, we’re clear? All right, we’re gonna move ahead. Sorry to keep you waiting.” – Kuzco

78. “Looks like you and your family are stuck on the tuneless hilltop forever, pal.” – Kuzco

79. “You know, I’m pretty sure I heard some singing on the hill next to us. In case you’re interested.” – Pacha

80. “Well, I was gonna have you imprisoned for life, but I kinda like this better.” – Kuzco

81. “Hey, Kronk, can you top me off, pal, be a friend?” – Kuzco

82. “Let’s not forget Yzma’s right-hand man. Every decade or so, she gets a new one. This year’s model is called Kronk.” – Kuzco

83. “You have a lovely wife. They’re both very pretty.” – Kuzco

84. “I was the world’s nicest guy, and they ruined my life for no reason. Oh, is that hard to believe?” – Kuzco

85. Kronk’s Shoulder Devil: “Reason number two. Look what I can do. Haha, ha!”

Kronk: “But what does that have to do with anything?”

Kronk’s Shoulder Angel: “No, no. He’s got a point.”

86. “You just saved my life!” – Pacha

87. “Hey, that’s kinda like what he said to you when you got fired.” – Kronk

88. “Yeah, you’d think he would’ve turned out better.” – Kronk

89. “Now, you stop being hard on yourself. All is forgiven.” – Old Man

90. “So, I’ll be building my summer home on a more magical hill. Thank you.” – Kuzco

91. Pacha: “I thought you were a changed man.”

Kuzco: “Come on, I had to say something to get you to take me back to the palace.”

Pacha: “So, all of it was a lie?”

92. “Sharp rocks at the bottom?” – Kuzco 

93. “I’m sorry, but you’ve thrown off the Emperor’s groove.” – Guard

94. “Well, I suppose there’s time for dessert.” – Yzma 

95. “Feel the power.” – Yzma

96. “Well, you’ll never believe this, but that llama you’re looking at was once a human being and not just any human being. That guy was an Emperor.” – Kuzco

97. “Oh, I can feel it.” – Kronk

98. “Will you take a look at that? Pretty pathetic, huh? A rich, powerful ball of charisma.” – Kuzco

99. “Come on, men! Nobody lives forever!” – Guard

100. “Because you know that means you’re doing something nice for someone else.” – Pacha

101. “Beware the groove.” – Old Man

102. “Where’d you come from, little guy?” – Pacha

103. “Demon llama? Where?” – Kuzco

104. “We’re on our honeymoon.” – Pacha

105. “We shook hands on it!” – Pacha

106. “His legacy will live in our hearts.” – Yzma

107. “Oh, really? I’m supposed to see him today.” – Pacha

108. “Bring it on.” – Kuzco

109. “How about dessert?” – Kronk