HomeQuotes60 Zapp Brannigan Quotes to Hilariously Start Your Day

60 Zapp Brannigan Quotes to Hilariously Start Your Day

On the surface, Zapp continues to appear to the people as a hero.

Through this collection, we can all get to know more about his flaws and authentic self. 

Read the entire collection below.

And don’t forget to check out these and .

1. “I am the man with no name. Zapp Brannigan, at your service.” 

2. “One day, a man has everything. Then the next day, he blows up a billion-dollar space station. And then the next day, he has nothing. Makes you think.” 

3. “When I’m in command, every mission is a suicide mission.”

4. “If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.”

5. “The key to victory is the element of surprise. Surprise!” 

6. “We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.” 

7. “I surrender and for treason.” 

8. “That young man fills me with hope. Plus some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing.” 

9. “My instinct is to hide in this barrel, like the wily fish.” 

10. “Brannigan’s Law is like Brannigan’s love; hard and fast!” 

11. “I’ve never heard of such a brutal and shocking injustice that I cared so little about!”

12. “Your face has been declared a weapon of mass disgusting!”

13. “Stop exploding, you cowards.”

14. “I want to slap your sister with a slice of bologna.”

15. “No, it’s noble of you, Kif. As of now, you’re in command. Congratulations, Captain.”

16. “We have failed to uphold Brannigan’s Law. However, I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars? Kif, I’m asking you a question.”

17. “I’ll take it. We’ll meet you tonight for part of dinner and the first half of a movie.”

18. “You win again, gravity!”

19. “Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.”

20. “You won’t have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you’ll be doing.”

21. “She’s built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro!”

22. “Leela! So it’s you I’ve been attracted to. Oh God, I’ve never been so happy to be beaten up by a woman.”

23. “Cham-paggin?”

24. “You look like a woman who enjoys the finer things. Come over here and feel my velour bedspread.”

25. “Happy Freedom Day, ladies! Come on, show me something. Anything. Seriously, I’d take an armpit.”

26. “The way to a woman’s bed is through her . Have sex with them, and you’re in.”

27. “Well, well. We meet again, Leela, only this time, I’m the one judging the sausage.”

28. “And which one rocked your world?”

29. “I’m calling to negotiate a double date. You and me, Kif and Amy.”

30. “Leela, it’s real velour. Just let yourself go.”

31. “In the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces.”

32. “We know nothing about them, their language, their history, or what they look like. But we can assume this. They stand for everything we don’t stand for. Also, they told me you guys look like dorks.”

33. “Ah, yes. Comets, the icebergs of the sky.”

34. “It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot one thing: rock crushes scissors, but paper covers rock and scissors cut paper. Kif, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper, and bring me a rock.”

35. “Now, like all great plans, my strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it.”

36. “That’s for schoolgirls. Now here’s a course with some chest hair.” 

37. “Kif, I’m feeling the ‘Captain’s itch.'”

38. “Kif, I’m sensing a very sensual disturbance in the force. Prepare for ship-to-ship intimacy.”

39. “Dammit, Kif! Where’s the little umbrella? That’s what makes it a scotch on the rocks.”

40. “Leela, you’re obviously confused and aroused.”

41. “We both know you won’t make it halfway to Vergon 6 before the craving sets in. Then you’ll come crawling back for another taste of sweet, sweet candy, bam!”

42. “Well, I have studied abroad or two!”

43. “Call me cocky, but if there’s an alien out there, I can’t kill. I haven’t met him and killed him yet. But I can’t go in alone. That’s why I’m ordering every available ship to report for duty. Anyone without a ship should secure a weapon and fire wildly into the air.”

44. “You see, Killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them until they reached their limit and shut down.”

45. “Welcome to my humble chamber, or as I call it, ‘the Lovenasium.'”

46. “You! Aren’t you getting this? We have detected a vessel attempting to break the security cordon around Vergon 6. I’m anticipating an all-out tactical dogfight, followed by a light dinner ravioli, ham, sundae bar.”

47. “Then what did we just blow up!?”

48. “I hate these filthy Neutrals, Kif. With enemies, you know where they stand but with Neutrals, who knows? It sickens me.”

49. “Now that’s a wave of destruction that’s easy on the eyes!”

50. “Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as ‘the brig.'”

51. “It’s a desolate, ugly little planet with absolutely no natural resources or strategic value.”

52. “Killbots? A trifle. It was simply a matter of outsmarting them.”

53. “Don’t ask me; you’re the one who’s going to be dying.”

54. “As my protege, you should know that the only way to deal with a female adversary is to seduce her.”

55. “So, a plan to assassinate a weird-looking alien with scissors. How very neutral of you.”

56. “What an erotic display of girl-on-girl consolation!”

57. “Captain’s log. Stardate: The Year of the Tiger. The battle has been bravely fought, and the suffering of our troops, beyond measure. But the alien is invulnerable, and our defeat, inevitable. That much is certain, even from my remote command post here at the Times Square Applebee’s.”

58. “You know, I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.”

59. “What are you? Gay?”

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