1. “If you’re good at something, never do it for free.”
2. “I just don’t want to feel so bad anymore.”
3. “April sweet is coming in, let the feast of fools begin!”
4. “We stopped checking for monsters under our bed when we realized they were inside us.”
5. “I’m not political. I’m just trying to make people laugh.”
6. “The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules.”
7. “They need you right now, but when they don’t, they’ll cast you out like a leper!”
8. “All I have are negative thoughts.”
9. “Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.”
10. “As you know, madness is like gravity—all it takes is a little push.”
11. “Rumour has it, Christmas is a time to share with family.”
12. “When the chips are down, these civilized people, they’ll eat each other.”
13. “It’s not about the money, it’s about sending a message. Everything burns!”
14. “I’m only laughing on the outside. My smile is just skin deep. If you could see inside, I’m really crying. You might join me for a weep.”
15. “What doesn’t kill you, simply makes you stranger!”
16. “Let’s put a smile on that face!”
17. “I am not someone who is loved. I’m an idea—a state of mind.”
18. “I’ve been using it as a journal, but also as a joke diary if I have any thoughts or frustrations. I think I told you, I’m pursuing a career in stand-up comedy.”
19. “Nobody panics when things go according to plan, even if the plan is horrifying!”
20. “They laugh at me because I’m different. I laugh at them because they’re all the same.”
21. “Why don’t we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches? And then we’ll see how loyal a hungry dog really is.”
22. “Those mob fools want you gone so they can get back to the way things were.”
23. “But I know the truth—there’s no going back. You’ve changed things forever.”
24. “The pen is truly mightier than the sword!”
25. “To me, love is about being able to see light inside of a person who sees nothing but darkness.”
26. “Until their spirit breaks completely, until they get a good look at the real Harvey Dent, and all the heroic things he’s done.”
27. “Tell your men they work for me now. This is my city!”
28. “Some people want to see you fail. Disappoint them!”
29. “I’ll tell you what you get! You get what you fucking deserve!”
30. “The strongest hearts have the most scars!”
31. “Their morals, their code; it’s a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They’re only as good as the world allows them to be. You’ll see. I’ll show you.”
32. “Give a man a mask and he will become his true self.”
33. “I now do what other people only dream.”
34. “A man with nothing to fear is a man with nothing to love.”
35. “You can’t sell dreams to someone who has walked through nightmares.”
36. “For my whole life, I didn’t know if I even really existed. But I do, and people are starting to notice.”
37. “I hope my death makes more sense than my life.”
38. “Don’t let anyone ever make you feel you don’t deserve what you want.”
49. “I suppose I’m going to have to teach you a lesson so you can better follow in his footsteps. Nah, I’m just gonna keep beating you.”
40. “There is no yoda. There’s no one who points you in the right direction. You’ve got to figure that out by yourself.”
41. “I’m not good at future planning. I do not plan at all. Don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow. Do not have a day planner and don’t have a dairy. I completely live in the now, not in the past, not in the future.”
42. “If you are just safe about the choices you make, you don’t grow.”
43. “Desire becomes surrender. Surrender becomes power.”
44. “If you make decisions based upon people’s reactions or judgments then you make really boring choices.”
45. “It’s like anything in life, visualizing the old man you’re going to become. As long as you have a clear picture of that—the life you want to lead—eventually, you’ll probably get there.”
46. “I’m not exactly sure what happened. Sometimes, I remember it one way. Sometimes another. If I’m going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice!”
47. “Does it depress you to know just how alone you really are?”
48. “Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick.”
49. “Someone get me off this crazy dumbwaiter. I can’t breathe.”
50. “Haven’t you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?”
51. “Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just do things.”
52. “Why so serious?”
53. “Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But, as my plastic surgeon always said—if you gotta go, go with a smile.”
54. “And I won’t kill you because you’re just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.”
55. “I don’t wanna kill you. What would I do without you?”
56. “You can’t rely on anyone these days. You gotta do everything yourself, don’t we? That’s ok, I came prepared. It’s a funny world we live in. Speaking of which, you know how I got these scars?”
57. “If the police expect to play against the Joker, they’d better be prepared to be dealt from the bottom of the deck!”
58. “As though we were made for each other—Beauty and the Beast. Of course, if anyone else calls you a beast, I’ll rip their lungs out.”
59. “See, this is how crazy Batman made Gotham! If you want order in Gotham, Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in. Oh, and every day he doesn’t, people will die—starting tonight. I’m a man of my word.”
60. “See, I’m a man of simple taste. I like things such as gunpowder, dynamite, and gasoline!”
61. “This city deserves a better class of criminal, and I’m gonna give it to them!”
62. “You didn’t think I’d risk losing the battle for Gotham’s soul in a fist fight with you? No. You need an ace in the hole. Mine’s Harvey.”
63. “I used to think that my life was a tragedy. But now, I realize it’s a comedy.”
64. “It’s funny. When I was a little boy, and told people I was going to be a comedian, everyone laughed at me. Well, no one’s laughing now.”
65. “When they treat you like a joke, leave them like it’s funny.”
66. “Sometimes, you have to play the role of a fool to fool the fool who thinks they are fooling you.”
67. “You know, it only when I laugh. But hey, I gotta know. Who are you? You said we knew one another. You do seem really familiar. We double at the prom? Or maybe blow up a school bus together?”
68. “Batman, Batman. Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in, where a man dressed up as a bat gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!”
69. “Do I look like I’m joking?”
70. “Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened. You can lock them away forever.”
71. “Very poor choice of words.”
72. “You have nothing—nothing to threaten me with, nothing to do with all your strength.”
73. “Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I’m an agent of chaos.”
74. “I like you, but I want to kill you.”
75. “Is it just me or is it getting crazier out there?”
76. “Maybe we can share one. You know, they’ll be doubling up, the rate this city’s inhabitants are losing their minds.”
77. “You see, I’m not a monster. I’m just ahead of the curb.”
78. “One by one, they’ll hear my call. Then this wicked town will follow my fall.”
79. “And he didn’t die all at once. It was hours before the screaming stopped. I almost didn’t get to sleep that night. That was the last time I’d used crushed glass.”
80. “I wanted to see what you’d do, and you didn’t disappoint. You let five people die. Then, you let Dent take your place. Even to a guy like me, that’s cold.”
81. “I think I felt better when I was locked up in the hospital.”
82. “Don’t test the monster in me!”
83. “The worst part of having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don’t.”
84. “I know the voices in my head aren’t real, but sometimes their ideas are absolutely awesome.”
85. “You can’t kill me without becoming like me! I can’t kill you without losing the only human being who can keep up with me! Isn’t it ironic?”
86. “Gotta hand it to you, nice scheme. Costumes a bit theatrical, but hey, who am I to talk?”
87. “It’s true, Batsy! I know everything. And kinda like the kid who peeks at his Christmas presents, I must admit, it’s sadly anti-climactic. Behind all the sturm and batarangs, you’re just a little boy in a playsuit, crying for mommy and daddy! It’d be funny if it weren’t so pathetic.”
88. “You look good. Been working out? You could probably use a little sun. Then again, who am I to talk?”